Sorry! I Just Leaked on Your Floor...

No Mexico baby, so we are back on track for the treatment plan determined by my new physician at the Center for Reproduction. Well, I thought we were on track. Apparently we will be getting on track next month. This month we are taking ANOTHER detour.

Detour #1
More diagnostic testing. Oh goody! I went to my PCP for a blood draw. That was an interesting experience. I faxed my orders ahead of time, get there and after waiting am taken back to sit in a chair while they figure out what the they are testing for.  They didn't exactly know what some of the tests even were.  (Ugh that's a little scary) I ask them to just proceed. The Dr. ordered them so I need them regardless of whether or not any of us know what the hell they are. 10 viles of blood later (9 tests + one extra just in case)

Detour #2
Another sono. ( I won't even use a sarcastic goody here. At this point you know my thoughts on these) This one is extra special though! (Now insert the extremely sarcastic, "oh Goody") I get to have saline injected into my uterus to give her a better view of my innards. Lovely. Is it wierd I don't even notice the stirrups anymore?

Yippee!
Sono revealed no issues and my bloodwork was great. I don't have any underlying disorder. Things look great. We still just need some assistance getting things going. The only issue is the irregular ovulation at this point!

Yikes
After the sono I was told, " Go ahead and get dressed. I put some feminine products on the counter to help you clean up".  They left and I stood up to find I was indeed a little leaky. I began to walk to the counter Now begins my inner dialogue... whoa... stop moving... what just happened? WHAT IS THAT? DID I JUST PEE MYSELF? WHY WON'T IT STOP? How did they get that much liquid into my tiny little uterus ? CRAP IT'S ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!! All they have is tissues! HOW DO I CLEAN THIS UP WITH TISSUE???  Crap Crap Crap

NOTE TO PHYSICIANS AND THEIR STAFF...  Don't beat around the bush or sugar coat what is going on. Just tell women. "Hey when you stand up, a waterfall will be exiting your hoo-ha. Don't worry it's totally normal"

When the nurse returned to give me instructions for our next steps. I couldn't focus on anything she was saying.  She was standing in my spot... no, I am not uber territorial. Mine as in marked by me on complete and total accident.

I am just going to chalk this up to yet another pre-pregnancy, pregnancy symptom.  I now know what to expect when my water breaks someday. 

Blankity Blank Blank

Oh I bet  you thought those were meant to be naughty words... perhaps they are, but really I am just talking about the lapse of time between my posts.  Big old blank spaces that were filled with things that I have yet to post.  So, what has happened quickly...

Mexico trip :

 Austin and I had a blast! The resort was gorgeous, the weather was perfect, the wedding was beautiful. Our honeymoon (take 3) definitely worked out. Austin was pretty proud that he had a wife that would actually get into the ocean and swim around. Duh! We paid to go to MEXICO to be by an OCEAN... why would I want to spend all day in the pool... The pool also kind of grossed me out because apparently everyone felt that it was socially acceptable to pee in it even though the bathroom was like 5 feet away. EWWW. That is beyond blankity blank gross! Not enough chlorine in the world to kill that much nastiness.:) The food was wonderful, the company was fantastic, the wedding was gorgeous and we came back with killer tan/sunburns! Hey.. color is color right?

Father's Day:

My sister Amanda secretly traveled home surprising everyone. (except for me. I was in on it the whole time!) We spent the weekend in Salina.  It was so fun to have our whole fam together for an entire weekend. ( This hasn't happened since we were in college and back then at least two of us were feuding, so when it did it wasn't always pleasant. ) It is pretty great to be at a point in our lives where we appreciate each other and truly cherish our precious time together.  The weekend was full of our usual family shenanigans and weirdness.






We golfed... well went to the driving range.  I am sure everyone that came near us was extremely thankful that we were able to help them better their game by really testing their concentration.
Dad cooked up one of his famous fancy suppers.  We saved  3 baby doves... about 3 times a piece. Stay in your blankity blank NEST!!!

It was AWESOME to see Manners.  She rarely makes it home and when she does her time is always divided.  We felt pretty lucky to get to  hog her for 3 whole days :)





Baby Update/Father's Day Cont.: 

So this was our month... our non medicated... something is brewing in my uterus month to relax to see if things would just happen. I tried not to let myself get too excited, but it just worked out that I was supposed to test on Father's day... Then my crazy brain got away from me. I couldn't help but think about how incredible it would be to tell Austin he would be a dad on Father's day... i couldn't help but think maybe the universe had aligned itself just right and we would get that special moment that weekend.  Well... sometimes the universe sucks and is a giant blankity blank... this was one of those times, which was not our time.  It is OK though. We will continue forward on this blankity blank journey of ours, because the outcome will be soooo worth it.  :) Plus Austin still had a happy Father's day  :)


PROGRESS!!!:

Hell blankity blank yeah!  Austin is a machine! He is knocking out things left and right!  I am so lucky to have such a handyman incredible husband.  He installed our awesome new backsplash and has laid out the frame for our ... drum roll please.... PATIO!!!! It is going to be huge... in typical Austin fashion. More pics to come!

I Thoroughly Dislike Brazilians... Not the People... the Wax.. I am Sure the People are Great

Off to Mexico... not a care in the world... well almost not a care, just that dang bikini line.  I didn' want to care about my inner thigh when I am strolling the beach in Mexico, or be embarrassed by than inevitable razor burn while lounging by the pool, so I developed a plan... wax it.

Sure I had heard the horror stories like an inability to walk without pain, inability to endure the procedure without screaming/cursing, bad reactions, but I had this... so I thought.

We won't go into the gory details and I'll keep it simple.  It was awkward ( My waxer's husband ended up knowing myself and my husband. So she chatted about that in between rips), uncomfortable (it's kind of like naked yoga... only there is no serenity or relaxation and I am not bendy)  and frickin painful (Duh need I really explain this part?)

Well I SURVIVED!!!  No cussing, no yelling (Although I had to remind myself to breathe a few times)

Thoughts for the day;

1. I wonder if the Brazilians really invented this and if it was originally a form of torture? 

2. Is it like Chinese water torture? Did that really develop in China? 

3. Does our government have a room where they torture bad people using the Brazilian waxing method... if they don't, they may need to consider it. 

Say what you mean & mean what you say...but what did you mean when you said what you said?

I am so far behind on these posts. Things have been crazy lately.

So the end of May I had my first appointment at the Center for Reproduction.  My wonderful mother stayed the night so she could go with me.  I really thought I would be fine to go it alone, but am so thankful she came.  Emotionally I was fine, better than fine, I was excited.... FINALLY something new, we are moving forward.  Mentally, I was flippin confused. We went over so many things and options and scenarios.  I am still not sure about everything we covered. Here is what I do know...I think...

1.) I may or may not have PCOS or Endometriosis... apparently it is more complicated than just a hormone deficiency issue.  We also may never know exactly what the issue is since there are so many variables that can impact reproduction. There really is no way to tell, unless I elect to have some surgery or something... it may also show up on a test they may run on me, possibly?  (See why I am so confused )

2.) I may have another diagnostic exam done... It is basically a colonoscopy for your vagina? I think? Something about a scope and more information and really I don't know...

3.)   I have a page full of instructions... instructions that I seriously thought about turning into a flow chart.  If this happens than proceed to box 2.  If it does not than go to box 3.  If  you go to box 3 you have 2 other possible scenarios with additional actions that must be taken depending on what actually happened.  WTH???

4.) I had a sonogram... that hurt... bad this time. I actually had to say ow... I didn't say ow for my tattoo or my Brazilian wax (that's a whole other story), but this made me say ow for sure!  My mother was also impressed/terrified/shocked by the size of the magic wand.  My how things have changed she said.  The sono did reveal that "something" was happening with one of my ovaries.  It looked like i "may" ovulate on my own in the next few days.  Depending on whether or not I did was how I was supposed to follow the crazy page of extremely confusing instructions.

5.) I did ovulate! All by my big girl self :) No drugs, no needles!

6.) If I am not pregnant this time we begin our new fertility treatment plan that involves, more fertility meds, more hormones and more injections that I give to myself!!! AHHHHH!!!

As you can see there are definitely more unknowns than knowns right now.  Which is slightly terrifying and has me a little on edge again. (Those 2 months off of everything were fabulous and apparently much needed), but we are ready to begin this journey again and to continue down this path blindly.  We know that although we can't see it, or understand it, or sometimes feel it, we are in fact being guided along.  We are exactly where we need to be in this moment.  Prayers that we can continue to remember this!