IVF- Here We Come!

We found out this week that our last IUI did not work. We have decided to move forward with In Vitro Fertilization.  CRAZY. I never, EVER thought we would get to this point.  I just thought for sure our 6th IUI that doctors thought we shouldn't do, right before Christmas would  result in a pregnancy...I mean it had to right? What a beautiful story; Against all odds to be given such a beautiful Christmas gift?  Unfortunately that isn't our story, but it's ok.  After many tears (and many more near melt downs) I am ready for this.  I am SOOO ready for this. Seriously.. a freaky weird calm seems to have settled over me.  ( perhaps it is the calm before the storm or the mother of all melt downs...), but for now I am ok and excited.  If this is what it takes to get our baby, so be it and BRING IT ON!!

Again, this is not a path I would ever choose for myself (or for anyone), but we are on it and I know that it is leading us somewhere wonderful.  I am just anxious to get moving.  The doctors actually will have me start birth control which seems bizarre, but they are doing it for two reasons:

1.) Shutting down my ovaries so that I am ready for all of the stimulation that will be happening and I am not at risk of producing a cyst (Which would bring our IVF plans to a screeching halt... and once this bus is moving I DO NOT want it stopping)
2.) To sync my cycle with the other women going through IVF.  (The clinic I go to typically only does 5 rounds of IVF per year... so we are all doing it at the same time )

Next steps;
- Austin and I have to complete an IVF course. (Should be super fun. My very ADD husband sitting in a room talking about fertility treatment for 2.5 hours... yay!)
- Begin meds at the end of January and hope for a retrieval in the first few weeks of February!
- By the end of February we will know if we were successful!

and for right now...

Enjoy our lives, the time we have together as just us, our friends and family and my ABSOLUTE favorite time of year, Christmas.  My tree is decorated  overdecorated, as in you can't really see much actual tree.  I have elves hanging from the chandelier, the nativity is out.  I love it! All of it!

It is also the time of year that reminds us how possible miracles are. It is a season full of faith and hope.

I heard a beautiful song yesterday... literally right after I found out my pregnancy test was negative.  What Faith Can Do, by Kutless.  I was such a blubering mess that anyone watching me definitely wouldn't have thought I was enjoying any part of listening to that song, as I couldn't stop ugly crying, but what a powerful message and what a perfect message for me that day in that moment.

"Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do"
Chin up buttercup, we will get our own miracle someday! (Hopefully soon as in the next few months and after two years... a few months is nothing!)