Things are Getting Egg-citing!

Today was egg retrieval day!  Holy cow was I nervous. We woke up, I put on my extra special egg retrieval day shirt, (Hey after 23 shots I earned a little something special), said a prayer (which continued throughout the morning/day), loaded up in the car, and off we went!

As nerve wracking as the day ways I can honestly say the ruling emotion was excitement.  This was a monumental step in this whole process.  There could be no eggs, there could be eggs that aren't mature, there could be a ton of eggs.

SOOO much was unknown...story of our lives right now. They prepped me for the procedure, sexy open back gown, foxy hat, brown no slip sox and an IV.  I got to carry my IV bag to the bathroom, because I couldn't stop feeling like I was going to pee. I was so anxious.
I got to goof off with Austin prior to, he kept taking the little finger monitor that checks your bp and oxygen levels and sticking it on his, which had me freaked out because I am such a rule follower and it was supposed to be on my finger, not his, but seriously what would they do? Kick us out? I don't think so.  I'm like the Eater Bunny, here to deliver some eggs, I am NOT leaving until you get them!

I talk to most of the staff that will be working with me. Everyone asks if I have questions, but at this point I am too nervous, excited and over googled to think of anything.

LET"S DO THIS!

They wheel me back to the procedure room.  Everything smells very sterile and medicinal. ( It is a surgical room) The room is actually pretty large.  There are a lot of monitors, and a HUGE overhead light.  (The better to see your vagina with my dear.)  They scoot me off of my current bed onto the new one.  Strap my legs into some very surprisingly comfy stirrups, talk me through a little more as they "prep the area".  Sooo awkward, but like I have said before, modesty is not a luxury of the infertile.  Shortly there after I am off to sleep and the next thing I know I'm in recovery talking to Austin.. though I don't remember beginning to talk to Austin and apparently I have been rambling... I also talked to a nurse and my doctor... hmmm... don't recall that either. Those are some good meds they give you. I found out they were able to retrieve 9 EGGS. Every one of those big beautiful follicles held a mature egg.

Austin's side of things went well. (We won't elaborate :) )  Now we wait for tomorrow to see if any eggs were successfully fertilized.  Tomorrow we find out if we have embryos!.

Bonus for everyone.  Austin recorded me coming off my medication. It's pretty funny so I'm not too embarrased to share:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVAFrBW9LUE 

That Needle is Really Big and It's Going Where?

Eeek! It happened. Last night we did our hcg trigger shot.  It is the final injection before our retrieval and is supposed to encourage the eggs to go through the last/final stage of maturation.  It is also the first of many shots to be given to my poor booty. I was a little freaked out.  Getting into my positive, calm, thankful, welcoming state of mind was much more difficult because the needle is FREAKING HUGE!

The nurse at the center drew two big round circles on my butt to serve as targets for Austin so he new where to go. Thankfully Austin was not intimidated by the needles at all. (Duh, it's not going in his butt) He talked me through it, jabbed it in quickly and surprisingly I felt very little.  It was no big deal at all.  I didn't even say ouch. Whew!  I do have to say that today I am pretty sore though. Thursday we will begin the daily progesterone injections. Same needle, we just rotate sides. Spread the love to both my cheeks. I'm just hoping I can walk next week. 

EGG RETRIEVAL IS A GO!

I repeat... EGG RETRIEVAL IS A GO!  We are beyond excited!  I had my 4th sono today and those little follicles look fantastic and are nice and big and ready to go! I also got my estrogen level back it was 1000 which means it  leveled out today at 1000 - which apparently is a sign that we have pushed my ovaries as far as we can and we should plan retrieval. We will be giving my stomach a break from needles, but will be moving onto my booty. Eek! Austin has to give me my trigger shot this evening. (Did I mention that this goes in my booty?) I won't worry about that though. It's one of the last steps before the surgery.   It helps give the follicles one last push to fully develop/grow a little more.  We will be scheduled for our retrieval on WEDNESDAY morning. Praying that all goes well and that we are blessed with eggs and a healthy embryo!

A Turning of the Tide... Nearing the End of Stims!!!

I finally got to visit one of my besties, Miss Amber Flinn to see the home she has been working hard to remodel with her fiance, and go to a movie. The thing was she lives in Hutchinson, which is about 45 minutes away and the movie started at 7.  It ended around 9, which is when I have to do my shots so.. shots in the parking lot again. :) I felt a little self conscious about it.  I pulled off a ways so I wouldn't be close to any cars, but people kept driving by and it's dark, my car lights are on in a secluded part of a parking lot and I'm playing with needles and mixing meds.  It was hard to fight the urge to role down my window and say... "no worries, these aren't illegal, they are medicinal!" :) haha! 

Still doing the increased doses of the meds + the morning injection/itchy shot to keep me from ovulating. 

This weekend was VERY productive for me.  I was experiencing a fun side effect of IVF Meds, extra high levels of estrogen, which apparently can cause insomnia. YAY!  I got a total of 13 hours of sleep from Friday to Monday, but I am very productive when I am awake until 3 in the morning and/or up at 5am.  I managed to paint our bedroom, clean out/decorate our spare bedroom, clean out the garage and get caught up on some wedding invitations I am designing!  (Photos of our room to come later. It is going to be AWESOME!) I went back to the Center for blood work and lab on Sunday morning.  Things are moving right along.  They were able to see 9 follicles on my right ovary! Woo hoo! Apparently 2 were just difficult to see behind the others.  All of them had grown quite a bit, enough so that I was asked to return Monday morning for more labs and another sono, because they think we are close to our retrieval time! The left ovary has still just decided to sit this one out.  2 itty bitty follies on that side.  No worries lefty, rest up I may need you some other time! Also, my estrogen was up to 1115! ( Great for this, not so great for my sleep, I read that a normal level for a woman of my age is 200 :) )

Austin took off for the weekend to go coyote hunting. So I am left to do my own shots, which was a disaster Saturday night.  I went to inject my Menopur, which is the shot that burns ( so fun!), I stick the needle in and see an air bubble so I pull the needle out.(It feels not so great to inject any air) I fix it and stick it right back in and apparently I stuck it too close to the first hole, because the meds I was injecting were leaking back out! I take it out again and move it over to the other side. Lovely!  I move on to the Gonal injection. I go to stick it and I can't get it in.  I think all of my stomach is just super sore and sensitive from all of the poking. I am running out of new places to stick things.  So I got two sticks with that one making a total of 5 sticks for 2 injections.  I am definitely feeling like a warrior woman after that, though I look a little more like a pin cushion/voo doo doll. 

It's now Sunday night, day 10 of stims (IVF stimulation for those not up on the lingo :) These could be my LAST SHOTS!!! In my stomach at least. Everything seems to be happening so fast, which is quite the blessing after all of the waiting just to begin the process! Fingers crossed!

(Don't let that big needle freak you out. It's used to withdraw meds, not stick them in...THANK GOODNESS!) 

1 Week In Updates!

I am currently on day 8 of my stims/shots for IVF.  Let me bring ya'll up to speed.  Tonight I will have had a total of 16 shots so far. Holy needles! WI started my Third Injection yesterday. It's a morning shot that prevents ovulation.  They don't want you releasing an egg on your own and they want to push more follicles to be able to produce mature eggs. Unfortunately this shot gives you an instantaneous rash.  I feel so classy walking around the office scratching my belly :) I told Austin I felt like Dirty Joe.  He said, "Who?" oops I meant Joe Dirt... whatever i feel dirty :) 

We just put in our second order of meds this week. Did you read that right.?? THIS WEEK!?!  That makes 3 med orders so far.  I appreciate that the do this along the way so you don't end up spending a ton of extra money and wasting medicine. They have decided to up my doses again.  (This will be the second time)















Still the only weird side effect I have experienced was the one random AWFUL migraine.  It felt like an evil creature was trying to break out of my brain... with an ice pick. It probably didn't help that I thought I would quit caffiene that day. Trust me I changed my mind by lunch, but my diet coke had no healing effects. It also didnt help that I may be a little hormonal and my migraine made me feel bad for myself which made me cry a tiny bit, which made it hurt worse. Ugh! I am usually not such a weeny.  Austin and my doggies to the rescue!  Other than that though I am feeling great! Austin has rocked my shots! I only have one bruise.  1 out of 16 ? ! I think that is pretty awesome!

My first sono happened on Tuesday. My estrogen level was up (that's good), my lining looked great there was a little fluid in the uterus, but they said that was normal given everything we are doing to my reproductive system. So far, just 6 follicles on ONE ovary. For some reason my right ovary, just isn' t digging this process and is being stubborn.  I had expected to see a lot more follicles, but the nurses didn't seem to concerned.

I had my second sono to see how things were progressing.  I am apparently feeling great, because there isn't a whole heck of a lot to feel.  I now have 7 follicles on my right ovary and 2 itty bitty ones on the left.  Not sure why that ovary has just opted out of this.  There is no "I" in TEAM ovary!  Get on board NOW!!! I googled... BIG MISTAKE.  I read that my counts are extremely low and that women with such counts are at risk of Cycle cancellation... WHAT!?! Dr. Google had a lot of other not so fun things to say about my not yet harvested embryos and their success rates, so I decided to ask my actual doctors.  They say all is still well.  We aren't necessarily looking for quantity, we want quality and my few follicles seem to be growing at the same rate, meaning they could all produce mature eggs.  It may not be the 20+ eggs I thought we would get, but all we really need is one good embryo. :) I just have to have faith that this is yet again part of the plan and part of our story. ( It's yet another part I hadn't planned on, but things seem to always turn out just fine.)      

This process is exciting. There are so many things going on and checkpoints, but it is still a teensy bit terrifying.   I do feel that I am being called out upon the water.  There are so many unknowns with what we are doing and no guarantees that we will get the outcome we are hoping for. The entire process is out of our control.  I have honestly had a great experience so far, even in light of our not so awesome updates. As scary as the unkown is I have Faith.

I will look beyond the waves and this struggle. I will continue to have faith in the process, in my physicians and most importantly in a God that has a plan for Austin and I..  I pray that he continues to give us strength to get us through this journey and opens our hearts to see the beauty within the struggle. .          



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QR2KGmL50k

Hit Me with Your Best Shot... No Really, Please Do!

 So It begins! 4 nights of meds, so far so good! I have had more than 10 times the meds I take for an IUI cycle, which is a little freaky to think about.  No crazy wierd side effects beyond a killer headache, my sanity is in tact and I am feeling super optomistic.  :) Lots more to go though!

IVF... We are a Go!!!

Austin has done an awesome job of keeping me preoccupied.  I tend to get anxious about all of this stuff ( I know you are totally surprised... me anxious? ha! ) We actually celebrated our Valentines day last night, which was perfect! A wonderful evening out with the hubs, great grub and no worries about this morning!


This morning we had our first official IVF appointment!  We turned in our monster contracts, wrote a disgustingly huge check, had my screening sono (which was all clear) and a crash course on my first injections! We are all set to begin them tonight!

I am beyond excited that we are finally doing something! I have two injections tonight, two more tomorrow and then blood work Sunday.  Based on that we will be given further instructions for the next rounds of shots!

Its backwards and a little blurry in this picture, but I purchased myself this little trinket Thursday. (I am a sucker for jewelry with a story.)  It's a Giving Key and the company that makes them employees people working to transition out of homelessness. Each has a different message.  You wear them until you encounter someone who needs its' message more.  Mine says Hope :) We have so many hopes for our future, for this process and this cycle!

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure" - Hebrews 6:19

The Last Pill

That's right, last night I took my final birth control pill. Holy cow! We start IVF meds this Friday if all goes well at my screening sono.  This day felt so far away and now it is almost here!

This post was going to go a little differently. It was probably going to lean a little more toward the woe is me side, but my thoughts have since changed. I had my second official panic attack since this has all started.  Last week I received my box of meds.  The box was HUGE. I thought surely it was because of the ice packs.  No it was because of the bazillion needles it contained.  I just kept pulling more and more and more out of the box. BIG ONES.  Not just my tiny stomach shots. I knew there would be more meds, but knowing and seeing are two VERY different things.  I instantly started sweating and crying.  (Did I mention this is just my first shipment of meds? There will most likely be more!Eek!)

I am thankful I had an acupuncture appointment last week. ( I love my acupuncturist, Marty. She is fantastic!) She challenged me to change my thought process about the shots.  Right then, I was rejecting them before I had even received them.  I didn't want them (I mean who really wants a bunch of big old needles poked in them) I was scared, and to be honest I was a little angry that this is what I have to do to get pregnant. It definitely can feel unfair.
The reality is that I DO want these shots.  These shots are the first steps to helping us conceive.  I should be welcoming them. (I am going to try really really hard to think that way) (Let's face it, it might be a little tricky when I see Austin headed toward my backside with one of those monster needles.)

I know in my last post I mentioned the beautiful song, my cousin Hope wrote.  She was kind enough to allow me to share it.  Her words and conviction are powerful  and  just what I have needed to prepare for what lays ahead of me this month.

CLICK HERE TO HEAR HOPE'S SONG