Back Ups and Break Downs

Austin went to the dunes this week. Not a big deal usually, but these progesterone shots are a part of OUR nightly routine. See that... OUR, not my.  These things take two baby.  I know there are ladies that give them to themselves.  I saw some on Youtube, I also heard from a friend that she did her own. Power to you ladies! I am NOT that gal. The stomach needles yes, the monster booty shots, no.  I'm not so much scared of them anymore, but I just cant figure out exactly how to go about doing it.  My circles/targets are in wierd spots, which would make getting a shot in at the right angle very difficult.  Not to mention the whole need to pull the plunger out which would take my other hand, that just doesn't seem to want to dislocate itself so I can get it behind me to do such a chore.  Solo shots, just aren't happening here.   In comes the backup.  Anyone going through this I highly recommend having one to two.  Life happens and your partner may not be able to administer them as planned.  If I were to become pregnant, I was told these shots would continue for 9 to 10 weeks.  No way will Austin be able to just not travel for work that long. Back to our back ups.  I am VERY lucky to be close to my sister-in laws.  Both of which kindly offered to stick me in my booty.  One lives right down the street from us so it was really easy to go drop in for my "treatment".

Ayrin was AWESOME. I actually hung out there all day, which is always fun.  She was super confident, but as nighttime hit and the time to do the dead neared, she got a tiny bit nervous.  (Who wouldn't?) I am asking her kindly to stab me with a needle the size of a skewer.  I reminded her it didn't hurt me. We watched a quick YouTube video.

The guy was terrible! I felt sorry for his poor wife. He sterilized/wiped her butt forever then did like 4 countdowns before sticking the dang thing in! I told her absolutely don't do it like that! ( I don't think that helped with nerves ) Do it fast and kind of hard like a dart and absolutely under no circumstances do you do a count down.  I know it's coming. Just do it.

Easy peasy! She rocked it! Through Ayrin I found yet another back up. Her neighbor  just happens to be a nurse and offered to help anytime.  Lucky for me because Ayrin went to a concert Saturday and I needed to take her up on the offer.  Angie was equally as awesome at shot giving. Lucky me!

We are getting closer to our testing date.  We are less than a week away and I think things are finally hitting me. I have really felt pretty good about everything and been more happy than nervous, but  the closer it gets to knowing the more difficult things are getting.  I am struggling to sleep and I feel anxious a lot. I have also had some unexpected bleeding which has me concerned.  I spoke with the nurse and there is no way to know what is going on at this point or if it even matters.  Women can bleed when pregnant or you could be bleeding because you aren't.  I guess I haven't had a full on break down yet.  I have had to fend off a few tears. ( I am not the best fender offer so quite a few have slipped through, but I think that has to be totally normal.  This is after all the most intense two week wait I have endured)  I won't give up hope nor will I falter in my faith.  I know that whatever happens is what is supposed to happen. (That doesn't mean if things don't happen the way I would like them to I won't be sad) What it means is that Austin and I will get through whatever life throws at us and whatever our test results are.