Mother's Day... Ouch.

Well this was definitely a tough one.  An entire day dedicated to the one thing I want to be more than anything.  It wasn't my first rodeo.  Last year wasn't so stellar either, but we have now been through so much more.  I also had wholeheartedly believed that this year I too, would be celebrated.  We have put in the time, the work, the money, the prayer.  We have done absolutely everything we could possibly do to become parents and yet I am still here hoping, waiting and wishing that God gives me this desire of my heart.

Too bad I didn't happen to have a nuclear fall out shelter in our backyard.  I think that may have been the only thing capable of shielding me from the day of torment. Countless facebook posts ( I went facebook free most of the day), radio ads, card displays, bouquets, loud speaker announcements in every store.  I even avoided church because I knew the message would be geared toward celebrating moms.

Let's get one thing straight folks, I am not a mom hater :) I am not for a second saying they do not deserve celebration.  I am forever thankful for the wonderful mother God has given me as well as for her mother and her mother's mother. (and on and on and on) This is the same for my Dad's mother and my mother-in-law. I have so many incredible women in my life friends, family, extended family.  I am in awe of the wonderful job that my sister and sister-in-law have done as mother's to their own children.  I see how hard they have and do work every single day to provide my sweet little nieces with the happiest of lives.   I see my friends with their children and those expecting and I am joyful for them and the opportunity they have been given to be stewards of life.

While I can rejoice for those around me it is still pretty impossible not to feel somewhat sorry for myself.  I hate that though. I hate that I was starting to feel a little, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!" about all of the "mom, mom, mom stuff"  The value of a woman isn't measured by this one day, I know that.  I also know that feelings of envy come with the infertility territory. It's just yucky to feel that way. I also recognize that women battling infertility aren't the only ones out there that struggle with this day.

I found the below dedication in a few different places, but thought it was a beautiful way to recognize moms and those that don't perfectly fit into the "mom" box, but are equally as important and also should feel appreciated, not alienated or made to feel bad on a day intended to make women feel good.  So to all of the moms, the non-moms, the non-traditional moms  thank you for all that you do and the impact it has on the lives of those around you!

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child – we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. 

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you

To those who have lost their mothers  – we grieve with you

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be

To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths

To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you

To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.