So I
have been battling myself for the past 24 hours. The doctor’s office should have the results
of my blood work, but I can’t quite get myself to call. I like living in the land of possibility.
Possibility that I ovulated, the possibility that I am actually pregnant. The land of possibility comes with high
levels of anxiety. Every time my phone vibrates I know it could be the doctor’s
office and I swear my stomach jumps into my throat. JUST CALL ALREADY!!! Ok… now I am back to
waiting. I left the message to find out my results. The phone rings… it’s my doctor’s nurse…. She
has sort of good news?? Maybe, possibly.
My levels are up… not ideal but up. 5.5 to be exact, which is a vast
improvement from the big fat 0s from the past two months. This most likely
indicates ovulation happened. Most
likely??? Ugh! Back to the waiting… time will tell.
End of November:
The dreaded phone call.
Negative. Yet again.
Blood work shows there is no baby Wiechman on the way. It’s a little disheartening, but I remain
strong in my faith and hopeful. The last
lab work showed things are moving in a positive direction, so maybe this next
month will be the one? I’ve really been
diligent in reading my daily devotional. (Jesus is Calling) I highly recommend
it. Days especially like today would be
even more difficult if I hadn’t begun them reading about God’s promises. I am not alone on this path, beyond the
support of family and friends I have a constant companion to lean on. Thank you God for the gifts you have provided
in my life and your everlasting love.
One of these days I know you will provide me with an amazing child (Clearly amazing, because it will have the most awesome parents! )...in your time.
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