Restless Nights

Previously I could blame my lack of sleep on the Chlomid and the insane hot flashes throughout the night that had me awake every other hour. Now I have a whole host of things I can blame it on.  

1.) Snoring: Hubs and Roxy. Like father like furball. Our room sounds like a bear's den.

2.) Dogs walking around/digging/moving in general... apparently dog time isn't always the same as people time.  

3.) Dogs licking privates. Unbelievably disgusting and so unladylike, but folks it happens and it's loud and it wakes me up.

4.) The hubs in general.  Playing music, playing games, watching an excessively loud T.V., banging on his drums (granted his new set is electric but it's directly below the bedroom and I can hear the sticks smacking the plastic...rat a tat tat tu tat tat bang tat tat), turning the lights on in the bed room so he can "see where the bed is",  dance parties, and my new least favorite to get me to help him catch a mouse!

I can't escape the damn mice even in my sleep! Austin last night comes into our room to wake me up.  Mistake number 1 waking me up, mistake number 2 waking me up on a night I took a sleep aid to help me sleep ( Pulling yourself out of your first deep slumber in weeks isn't pretty people) mistake number 3 he woke me up over a mouse.  

He leads me to the kitchen and says...shhhhhh.  Sure enough... mouse, under the trashcan, in the laundry room.  I'm thinking great hun you found one of the probably 300 mice living in our home, what  I am going to do about it? Man up buddy.  I do mice while your gone,you come home, it's your turn.  Austin's brilliant game plan is to place a sticky trap in front of the trash, lift one side then use my feet to block it. Keep in mind I am bare foot.  I may be half asleep but I'm not an idiot and my tootsies will not be used as a mousy barricade.

End of the story.  Austin lifts the trashcan, the mouse runs out evades the sticky trap and lives to see another day.

Ok mice you thought I was mad before, guess what.. now I am mad and tired! Look out!

Mice: 5,033,324
Wiechmans : 8 (Not for long!!!)

You Look Like a Drowned Rat

No, that isn't some fancy title for some clever post of mine. I saw one... uck... a real live (well dead) DROWNED RAT... in the dog bowl... ew ew double ew. 

I contemplated posting the photo and thought better of it. You're welcome! (It would be gross)

Mouse Update:
  
Mice: 5,033,323

Wiechmans: 8

Try and Catch Me Riding Dirty

Dunes day!  Those of you that have not yet heard, Austin has bought us a RZR 1000. (Which is kind of like a baby buggy...well it runs like one anyway.) We took her to Wayanoka to break her in. He thought it would be good for me to have something to drive down there as well.  I don't know that it was a "good" idea, but it was one hella fun one!

Ok, so the title of this post is a little misleading.

1.) It is in no way gangsta... it is quite literal. I was FILTHY after the weekend. Sand and mud and grime in every crack and crevice. I am still finding sand on me 3 days later!

2.) Pretty much anyone could actually catch me right now.  I'm a beginner and that little thing get's with it, but I'm not quite confident in my driving skills to get crazy just yet. I definitely improved during the weekend.  I'll be a speed demon soon enough!

So maybe I should have called this one... You can catch me- I'm the girl with sand in her pants.

My Heart is Happy and my Follicle is a Heart??

Happy Valentines Day to all!

This year was an interesting one... I got to see my uterus...yet again! What says love like a wand up your who-ha?  No, but seriously I actually enjoy my sono appointments. It's exciting to see what this body of mine has been up to and man has she been busy this month.  I started getting high fertility readings pretty early on my ovulation monitor so the Doc decided to have me come in earlier than planned to see what was causing my estrogen to be spiking.  Low and behold, my uterine lining was nice and thick and I had a monster follicle already!  This was no ordinary follicle... it was one of the larger ones I have seen on a sono and ... drum roll please. It was in the shape of a heart. ( Sort of.. the sono tech pointed it out and even printed me a copy. She thought it was cute. Fingers crossed its a good sign!)  Happy Valentines Day to me.  To top off my awesome appointment I got another awesome shot in my stomach. Not your typical Valentines Day, but one filled with love. Love for my physicians and all of the hard work the are doing to help us out, love for the person that invented that magical wand that allows me to see my follies, love for my husband who has also put in a lot of hard work (hahaha) and last but most certainly not least, love for my creator and the work that he is doing behind the scenes during this time of my life. I have already learned so much during this journey and know that there are sure to be more lessons revealed as we continue down this path.  Love and baby dust today people! (Don't ask.. more fertility blog mumbo jumbo, but it sounds happy... hell throw in some unicorns and Barry Manilow!)

So not a perfect heart, but you see it right? 

Another Day and a Little More Thankfulness

Today I woke up not worried about tomorrow... mostly because I was worried about today.  So, for about the 3rd winter in a row we have run out of propane.  For those that do not use propane, it is what heats our house, our water, runs our gas stove, etc.  IT'S 8 DEGREES OUTSIDE!!!!! Of course this all happens at 8:30 last night.  Propane companies don't really do midnight refills.  In a panic Austin and I head for Walmart, we find the heaters...KEROSENE heaters. UGH! WHERE ARE THE LITTLE PLUG IN SPACE HEATERS PEOPLE?!?!  We make a mad dash for the door and then a last minute decision to run into Best Buy, mind you, it's 8:50 now. They close at 9:00.  We begin scanning the isles.  Bingo! Heater... crap... Dyson heater.  Um, we will not be spending $400 today.  Looks like we will be chopping wood.  We round the corner... JACKPOT!  Space heaters and the plug in kind! I can hear the hallelujah chorus!  Luckily our house has not lost too much heat when we return. We are only down to 64 degrees. Giant whoop!  We plug in our 3 heaters and live to see another warm day!

Today I am thankful for space heaters, blankets and my UGGs aka UGGly boots. ( Not my idea of a fashion statement, but super duper warm.) GOD does provide!!!

Today I am not thankful for the brownie in a mug recipe I found on Pinterest.  Don't get me wrong, it was a Pinterest success and beyond delicious, but I better get thankful for treadmills really fast, because I don't see myself not having one daily anytime soon.  Those that dare start... 

Chocalate Amazingness in a Mug

2 Tablespoons of Butter

2 Tablespoons of Water

A pinch of salt

4 Tablespoons of Sugar (Yes that is a 4 and a TABLESPOONS..gross I know)

2 Tablespoons of Cocoa 

4 Tablespoons of Flour

Mix butter, water and salt well.  Add sugar, again mix well.  Add Cocoa, mix.  Finally add flour, stir,stir,stir.  Microwave for 60-90 seconds.  Let cool.  Open the microwave door.  The hallelujah choras is back. Remove from microwave. Yell voila. (ok, maybe not necessary, but why not? It is a little magical.)   Enjoy a tiny bit of heaven.

Welcome to the World Reese!!!

Austin and I traveled to KC to meet our NEW NIECE baby Reese.  She is beyond perfect.  I know that we may be a little partial, given they are our family, but I SWEAR we have the most incredibly beautiful (inside and out), amazing neices ever!!  I love seeing them grow and become such awesome little people with their own identities and personalities.  I can't wait to see what Reese is like when she is older.  Currenly she is the easiest baby ever.  She is a lot like Emma as an infant, she rarely cries. Really only when she is hungry.  She is a peaecful little thing and we couldn't be happier for Ayrin, Dave and Hurley! We love you all so much!

I am hoping Reese gave me some baby mojo.  We are nearing the end of my 2 week wait.  It’s more terrifying than exciting now.  Who knew you could be so scared of a little stick.

B-F'n-N

Well another torturous 2 week wait over and another unwanted outcome, yet another BFN.   For those that don’t spend their free time perusing fertility blogs ( I mean… what else do people do all day? ) BFN stands for Big Fat Negative… I can think of another “f” word that feels more appropriate for that stupid little one lined pregnancy test.

Who knew there could be so many acronyms on fertility forums?? I swear it took me a week just to learn the lingo to know what in the hell everyone was talking about.  I suppose there are a lot of people that are thankful for some of them.  Take CM for instance,  nobody really wants to see the word cervical mucus over and over and over. CM is definitely less gross.  So is EWCM…(look that one up :) ) hahaha oh the glorious path that is trying to conceive.

I always think I am prepared to see that lone little line on the pregnancy test.  You would think that after more than a year of them I would be used to it, but it truly isn’t any easier.  It’s devastating and heartbreaking every stinking time. 

I know our day will come and when it does we will be forever grateful to have been given such a precious gift.  I am just really, REALLY, struggling with my patience.  I know everything is in God’s timing, and that the timing serves a greater purpose, but holy moly big guy “I am struggling”  this girl! Me! Aubrey Wiechman! Hello!!! Do you see me down here on earth? Crying, monthly… ok ok maybe a little more often.. like a crazy!!???!!!..... Rant over, back to being rational. 

1.)    This really honestly was the FIRST month that the doctors have been able to create the perfect conditions to create and maintain a pregnancy.  I also know that even in perfect conditions there is only a 25% chance that a woman gets pregnant each cycle. (I know more fertility statistics, than I EVER wanted to.) So statistically… if we can create the same circumstances our time IS COMING SOON!!

2.)   I trust in the Lord with all of my heart.  He knows that I struggle, knows that I will falter, knows that I may experience doubts, knows that I am imperfect, knows that I am feeling like I am quickly approaching my wits end, but he also knows that I am strong, that I am faithful, that I am loved and supported by so many wonderful people, knows that I truly believe in the plan that he has for me and most importantly he knows that I KNOW that his plans are for hope and a future.

My daily devotional, “Jesus is Calling”, has honest to goodness saved my sanity during this whole process.  I really have felt on more than one occasion, that the message was specifically for me for that exact moment.  February 3^rd’s entry was no exception:

“ I will get you safely through this day and all your days.  But you can find Me only in the present.  Each day is a precious gift from My Father.  How ridiculous to grasp for future gifts when today’s is set before you! Receive today’s gift gratefully, unwrapping it tenderly and delving into its depths.  As you savor this gift, you find me.”

Wow! Right!?!  I have been so focused on so many tomorrows.  I have committed myself to a sort of fertility purgatory. I am always waiting in complete and utter fear for tomorrow.  Will I produce a follicle? Will my lining be thick enough? Will I get my shot? Will I conceive?

Enough already!  I get that this is my struggle and I need to remember to take it a day at a time.  Today I need to open my eyes to the gifts that God has already laid before me. Today, I thank you god for my loving and supportive husband, my equally wonderful family and friends, my incredibly understanding boss, my fur babies, my gorgeous home and my ridiculously awesome life.  You have done a great deal of work in my life and I am eternally thankful.  What the rest of my life is to be is in your hands, and I can rest easing knowing just that. Besides… que, sera, sera.

Lou Update

She ate the couch…

She is also back in her kennel...

Master of Disaster

Lou is eating my house and home… no that was not a  typo she is not eating me OUT of house and home she is just plain eating it.

Austin is home for the next few months for a job and putting Lou in her kennel daily was making him feel bad. (He is turning into a softy in his old age!  She likes her kennel, she has been kennel trained since she was a puppy, the kennel thing worked for us…well Lou and I)

Here is how our out of kennel training is going…perhaps we should just call it Lou running a freaking muck in our house training..

Day 1:  Lou ate a mouse trap.  A plastic snap trap. Tiny plastic pieces everywhere.  I hope it snapped her!

Day 2:  Lou ate a pillow.

Day 3:  Lou ate an attachment for our vacuum. We have a Dyson… this is becoming an expensive lesson.

Day 4:  Lou eats another pillow. This one is a feather pillow so there are feathers EVERYWHERE.  The funny thing is Lou is extremely meticulous in her destruction.  She rips the pillow covers along the seam, then creates a very small opening (small as in no bigger than a quarter) in the pillow at the corner and apparently sucks the contents out of this very small hole. What?!?!?

Day 5:  Lou eats a plastic cup. Where did you even find the cup fur ball??? I don’t or didn’t think I had a cup like that.

Day 6:  Lou eats a cardboard box containing Austin’s new shirts he designed for work. She may have also eaten/pulled a string out of one of his new sweatshirts.

One would think that this little fur monster would be back in her kennel by now…

No way.  She has her daddy wrapped around her furry little finger. I blame it on her people eyes. 

She totally has people eyes!