Facebook... Friend or Foe?

 I definitely have a love hate relationship with it right now.  While I LOVE keeping up with friends that live far away and seeing all of the amazing things people are doing in their lives, it can also be difficult.  I am not just talking about baby bumps and pregnancy announcement pics (Though depending on the day, those can be rough to see too).  I am talking comments.  Seemingly harmless comments. I know that I, like many women I am sure, struggling with infertility are extra sensitive.  My husband would probably say that's an understatement. :) Regardless of his opion (haha)  I have developed a tougher skin and know that people rarely mean to be rude or insensitive, it's just not possible for them to understand something they have never dealt with.  I know that I have said things prior to all of this that probably would have pissed the current me off.  I have seen many a post on the dreaded FB and blown it off, but the latest must have caught me on an off day and it had me cringing. Here are a few snippets from it.

"Babies belong in cribs. Not in trash cans and petri dishes". ( Later in the post "wake up and adopt") All followed with a picture of theirown beautiful children. 

Now this is a person I respect and admire. They are God fearing and sweet as can be.  Overall the post was about taking responsibility and I know the intent was good. Perhaps I took the whole post wrong given my extra sensitivity, if I did, I apologize, and let this be a lesson to folks that leave posts open to interpretation. If I didn't misinterpret it than let it just be the latest post that hurt my feelings and kinda pissed me off.  I partially agree with it..  Babies do not belong in trash cans.  How could anyone blessed with this thing I would give up almost anything for just discard such a precious gift and I am all for adoption, but it's not that simple.

Our sweet little embies were born and lived, though briefly in a petri dish. I don't believe that it's wrong or against God's will. Actually I believe quite the opposite.  I believe God has me on this path for a purpose and that good will come of it.  Some days I am required to dig extra deep to see the good, but it's there.  I don't' think that it is wrong to want and to try for a biological child.  I have already shared that Austin and I are open to other options if that is where we are ultimately lead. In the end we want to be parents.  I know no matter what we will end up with the exact child that God intends for us to have and that child will be perfectly ours. I also know that if the time comes that I throw in the towel or give up hope on my eggs I will mourn that loss. That doesn't mean I won't love our future child any less than if it shared my DNA, it just means there is a process to all of this and a path that is messy and unclear.  It is riddle with failures and triumphs, joy and pain. Until you are here and faced with this challenge you can't possibly know what you would or wouldn't do.  Mothers, Fathers, as you hold your children, look down at their sweet faces and tell me,  what wouldn't you have done or given to have them? 

I know someday I will have that feeling.  I will hold our child (however they get here) and I will know I did absolutely everything for them.  They were wanted, dreamed of, sought after and loved for years before we found each other. 

I am absolutely open to adoption and God bless the women strong enough to give up their children in hopes of them having a better life and simultaneously giving the gift of parenthood to those desperately seeking a child.  What an incredibly selfless act and I can not imagine how hard that most be for some.  adoption, is not that simple either.  It can cost as much and VERY OFTEN more than any fertility treatment out there.  That road can be long, hard and unpredictable.  I have heard many a tale of heartache and disappointment from failed adoptions, but I have also heard of the overwhelming joy from those that are a success.  Again, babies that end up right where they were always meant to be. I encourage you to pray for those in the adoption process, it sounds like one wild  journey as well. 

Either way, if being a parent is a desire that has been laid on your heart and the traditional route (that I promise anyone battling the beast that is infertility would GLADLY prefer to be taking), is not an option for you, go fearlessly in the direction of your dreams.  Do what is right and best for you, because only you know what that is. You don't need the approval of anyone.  This journey is not chosen one and it is NOT EASY.  God bless anyone of you fighting for that someday baby.